Your sins are continually being forgiven and forgotten.
One of the greatest truths of Christianity is that of always having the privilege of praying to our Lord without having to hang our head over our past sins. Conversely, one of the greatest lies from Satan is that we should feel guilty for all our past sins. Yet Christ paid the ENTIRE price for ALL our sins—past, present and future (they were all future when He died on the cross).
When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him having forgiven us all our transgressions, having cancelled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us and which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. —Colossians 2:13-14
What a privilege to live under God’s grace!
My husband and I are true believers, but we also have challenges in our marriage. And the biggest challenge for us is a frequency of sex that satisfies my husband. For some strange reason, we can’t get past this problem. At times, it feels like we may have gotten through it, but my husband gets very frustrated with the whole situation. I told him it’s not like I don’t want to have sex, I just don’t have the desire for it like I used to have. Before we were married, my desire for sex with him was constant—all day long.
I shared with my husband my concern that since we slept together before we were married, God may be allowing us problems now. We’ve tried praying together and have sought counsel from our pastor, but nothing to the satisfaction of my husband. I’ve asked him to just be patient because God will speak to me eventually.
There may be any number of reasons why your level of sexual desire has changed. These could include medical/physical reasons, emotional reasons such as unresolved bitterness toward your husband, or spiritual issues. Have you and your husband gone to the Lord and thanked Him for His forgiveness of your pre-marital sins? Have you truly forgiven your husband for putting you in that situation? Have you personally put this behind you knowing God wants you to forget your sinful past and look forward to the future?
Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead —Philippians 3:13
Although pre-marital sins can have post-marriage repercussions, you can get past them with the Lord’s help.
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. —Philippians 4:13
As you pursue answers to the problem, there also needs to be a real concern on your part for your husband’s well-being:
Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control. —1 Corinthians 7:3-5
God expects you to be a help-mate in every way you can—emotional, spiritual, and physical. Your desire should be for your husband’s well-being and not exclusively for your own personal satisfaction. Remember that your husband’s sexual desire is part of who God designed him to be and when you sincerely desire to meet your husband’s needs, you are honoring God. With that right heart attitude, you can continue to plead with God to adjust the desires of both you and your husband so that they are in harmony with each other. So light the candles and have some fun!
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Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission.
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