All marriages come with challenges.
One of the reasons God commands us to marry a believer is so both marriage partners will have a common base to work from during times of difficulty. Marriage is easy during the good times, but the real tests come when disagreements arise. And they will arise. If you are married to a solid, biblically-centered believer, you have the Word of God to go to for answers to literally all problems. But if you marry a nonbeliever, you have no central source of problem solving.
This one verse should not throw a negative light on marriage as a whole. God decreed that
. . . it is not good for the man to be alone —Genesis 2:18
Marriage is to be held in honor among all . . . —Hebrews 13:4
Paul even said in 1 Timothy 4:1-3 that a sign of latter-day apostasy would be people forbidding marriage.
But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron, men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.
My husband is also a truck driver; however, he is only home about once every week and a half. I want him to be the head of our household, but he would rather be away from home than deal with all of the responsibilities. I have dealt with this for almost 27 years. We have three children, two of whom I still home school.
For years I have felt like a single parent, and sometimes it gets to be more than I can deal with alone. I really feel in my heart that he stays away from us because he doesn’t want to deal with all the responsibility and problems that families face. Even when he is home, he watches TV or sleeps. I have to deal with the finances and home repairs and I have to see that the yard work is done—basically, I have to do it all.
I’m not trying to complain; this is just fact. But how wonderful it would be to have someone to lean on every day, to help make the right decisions, to have someone who really does care and wants to be a part of making the right decisions. I feel that I have been left out of something very special that married people are supposed to share. I also want my husband to be the head of our household, but he really does not want to be involved. Suggestions?
You have a very difficult situation. But God will never give you more temptation (to throw your hands up, etc.) than you can handle.
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. —1 Corinthians 10:13
Always remember, you are not held accountable for your husband’s actions, but you are held accountable for your responses to his actions. And God may want to use you in his life.
Although you won’t be able to change your husband (nor should you wait for him to change), you can work on changing your heart toward him by working hard to honor him despite his poor leadership. Keep in mind that you are commanded by God to honor him, not because he deserves it but because that’s how you honor God.
. . . let the wife see to it that she respect her husband. —Ephesians 5:33
Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor. —Romans 13:7
Take whatever time you have at home with your husband (outwardly in deed, but quietly in speech) to show him you not only love him, but that you also honor him.
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. —1 Peter 3:1
It should be obvious to your children and, hopefully, eventually to your husband. God may or may not use it to change your husband, but the most important thing is that you’re doing what God wants you to do, for which you will be rewarded eternally one day.
Accordingly, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms will be proclaimed upon the housetops. —Luke 12:3
Therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops. —Matthew 10:26-27
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Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission.
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