You pay a stiff price when you refuse God’s will in your life.
God has a perfect will for your life. And He also has a permissive will for your life. If we trust Jesus as our “Lord,” as well as our “Savior,” we please God. To trust Him as “Lord,” we seek whole-heartedly to obey His Word.
If we deny God has any control over us and refuse to operate within scriptural boundaries, we may eventually end up with a depraved mind. Romans 1:18-32 is an eye-opening disclosure of the consequences of sin. If you ever have trouble trying to overcome some sin in your life, just read those verses to see where you are headed if you don’t allow God to change you. It’s a scary picture of how Satan fills the void when God’s Word is abandoned.
For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. —Romans 1:18-32
I find myself in a great dilemma. I am a 20-year-old college student in love with a nonbeliever. I think at this point it would do more harm than good to break up as I desperately want him to come to know the Lord. He doesn’t know much about the Bible, and I don’t think he’s had much of a Christian background. He once said his whole family were believers, but I doubt they are true believers.
I wish to be able to lead him to Christ, yet at the same time be on a level with him so that we can have a relationship. I want to voice my opinions but give him free choice, not like “do this or I’ll break up with you.” I don’t want to be his “mentor” so to speak, and I don’t want him to look at me as a sounding board for Christians, because I’m not even close to perfect. My example would be foolish. But I do want to show him that Christ is perfect. How do I do this?
At school we are required to go to 7 chapels a semester, but I don’t have a car so I haven’t established a home church anywhere else. He’s not quite ready for Bible studies so I don’t know where to go from here. I know there is a verse somewhere that says how a husband might win his wife, and also the wife win her husband—I think Paul said it. Your thoughts on this matter would be very appreciated. Thanks!
Based on God’s warnings, you should never have allowed yourself into the situation of dating a nonbeliever, much less falling in love with one.
Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk among them; And I will be their God, and they shall be My people.” —2 Corinthians 6:14-16
This is a very dangerous situation, and you are trying to justify your actions based on love (which is an action, not an emotion) and not on Scripture.
If you truly love this man, you will want what’s best for him. And what’s best for him is for him to become a Christian. His life or death struggle is far more important than your affections for him. You can never marry him so you are basically lying to him. Therefore, you must stop seeing him immediately in a dating relationship. Whether God uses you, or someone else, to reach his heart, you need to get back into God’s will.
You need to find a good Bible-teaching church and attend regularly. Having solid believers around you will help in making those tough choices. And if you can’t find a church, then find a Bible study. You need more time in the Word to dispel the myth that you can’t be an effective witness because you’re not perfect. That is simply not true. God can use anyone at any time. We all are sinful, all fall short of God’s glory
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God —Romans 3:23
Christians are not perfect, just forgiven.
Realizing the difficulty of completely cutting off your relationship and wanting to be somewhat still involved as a positive influence in his life, we would suggest that you only see him in a group setting with other Christians. And ultimately, if he receives Christ and matures enough to lead you spiritually, your relationship has the option to continue.
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Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission.
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