Paul wanted all of Christ.
It’s one thing for us to want to share with Christ in all good things: to be joint heirs of the kingdom, to experience the power of His resurrection, to be given eternal life. But how often do we honestly long to share in the fellowship of His sufferings? Paul was not referring to the substitutionary death of Jesus on the cross. That was a place that Christ alone could go, and no man can follow. What Paul wanted was an intimacy with Jesus so real that suffering for His cause would only deepen it. Strangely enough, Paul’s request had already been answered. Immediately after Paul’s conversion, the Lord had told Ananias of Paul, The reason Paul could take such a bold stand was because he understood that suffering is temporary but the victory it brings, through Christ, is eternal. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. —2 Corinthians 4:17
I will show him how much he must suffer for My name’s sake —Acts 9:16
For it was fitting for Him . . . in bringing many sons to glory, to perfect the author of their salvation through sufferings. —Hebrews 2:10
Paul was not referring to the substitutionary death of Jesus on the cross. That was a place that Christ alone could go, and no man can follow. What Paul wanted was an intimacy with Jesus so real that suffering for His cause would only deepen it.
Strangely enough, Paul’s request had already been answered. Immediately after Paul’s conversion, the Lord had told Ananias of Paul,
The reason Paul could take such a bold stand was because he understood that suffering is temporary but the victory it brings, through Christ, is eternal.
For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. —2 Corinthians 4:17
My husband has been addicted to pornography in the past, something I didn’t discover until last summer. I believe that he is again accessing porn sites on the web. I’ve set up an internet filter now, so possibly he won’t have access anymore.
Here is my question: What is my role as a Christian wife in this situation? I understand that this has a strong hold on him (as sin often does), and I also thought that I had forgiven him last year. Is my suspicion a sign of not having actually forgiven him? Is it ok to have “righteous” anger and hurt at this situation?
If he keeps denying it, what do I do? Just trust God to work on his heart (he is a Christian, but a baby one) and forget the fact that this hurts me and that I feel it puts our family in danger? Is it better to blindly trust him instead of constantly being suspicious? I’m not a nagging wife, so I don’t hound him, but I’m unsure of what God would have me do here. I honestly want an answer from God’s Word, but I just can’t find it on my own.
|As a loving wife, it is incumbent on you to warn your husband of any danger you see that may harm your family. Pornography is certainly a danger. With a lot of prayer (“pray without ceasing” —1 Thessalonians 5:17) and a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4), share scriptural concerns as a help-mate (Genesis 2:18) – preferably verse by verse.||but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. —1 Peter 3:4 |
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” —Genesis 2:18
You may want to include these verses:
I will set no worthless thing before my eyes . . . —Psalm 101:3
The eye is the lamp of the body; when your eye is clear, your whole body also is full of light; but when (your eye) is bad, your body is full of darkness. —Luke 11:34
Your putting a filter on the internet is not the answer. It only masks the real problem (he’s not fully trusting God to meet all of his needs). In fact, you should remove the filter because it was not respectful behavior. It’s never your job to be the junior Holy Spirit deciding what is right and wrong in your husband’s life.
Tell your husband that, although you meant well, it was wrong and ask him to forgive you. Tell him you know now that his problem is between him and the Lord. And tell him that you love him and will pray for him to grow in his relationship with the Lord.
. . . wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. —1 Peter 3:1-2
As for “blindly trusting him,” remember that it is God you are trusting—NOT your husband. Knowing that should give you great freedom and peace in this situation.
Additional resource for this GML:
What Pornography Does To Your Brain by Bill Perkins
Click here to access this free article.
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