True patience is when you are patient when you have been wronged without a reason.
It will happen. At different times in your life you will be wronged. It will be obvious to you that you are in the right. But this doesn’t mean you can jump up and down, scream and yell, sue, whatever, in an un-Christlike manner.
This is your REAL opportunity for others to see your true colors—how Jesus works in and through you. Rather than point fingers, it’s time to be patient.
. . . patient when wronged —2 Timothy 2:24
Patience of the spirit is better than haughtiness of spirit. —Ecclesiastes 7:8b
You see, as Christians, we should love in all situations because God is in us, God is love, and love is patient.
Let all that you do be done in love. —1 Corinthians 16:14
No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us. —1 John 4:12
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant —1 Corinthians 13:4
We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. —1 John 4:16
I am a 47-year-old female accountant living in Alaska. We don’t have any children at home, have zero debt and very few expenses. My problem is that I don’t want to work anymore. I would love to be a housewife and cook, clean, quilt, sew, knit, attend women’s Bible study, and have more time in general to serve the Lord. My husband, by his choice, makes only a fraction of what I do. For 20 years I’ve been the primary bread winner. And if I were to quit today, I will have a good retirement income.
We have had many fights about this in the last two years. I don’t want “things”; yet he says he can’t support me in the manner I’ve become accustomed. I do have a good reliable car (we live in AK and I drive to work) and we eat out more than we would if I didn’t work, and I do try to wear nice clothes as I am a professional. But none of this is important to me. I’d be happy with an old car and blue jeans if I could be home.
My husband says I have to work for no other reason than “I said so.” I am getting too tired to work full time, to make that drive over bad roads, and do much of anything else. I’m lucky if I make it to work and church. So, what does the Bible say about women working outside the home? Whose responsibility is it to provide for the family? Do wives simply have to say “Yes, dear” if our husbands want us to work? I’m sure there are other women in the same situation.
Your husband is probably wrong, and yes, it’s his responsibility to “provide,” not yours. It is certainly NOT God’s best for you to work outside the home. BUT, you should love and obey your husband even when he is wrong, as long as it doesn’t violate Scripture. Notice that the verses below not only call for wives to be “workers at home” but also to be “subject to their own husbands” even when they are wrong (see also Colossians 3:18).
. . . workers at home . . . subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God may not be dishonored. —Titus 2:5
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. —1 Peter 3:1
. . . as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. —Ephesians 5:24
It appears (without hearing his side of this problem) that your husband is like too many other Christian men. He has a spiritual problem with money—which is serving another god. You either make your decisions based on the Bible first or money first. If you violate Scripture by making decisions primarily because of money, you are simply making “money” your “god” by choice.
No one can serve two masters . . . God and wealth. —Matthew 6:24
If your husband is a Christian, he simply doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand the difference between “more money” and “God’s best.” But, barring a miracle, your husband won’t change overnight.
You’re going to have to keep your eyes on Christ, pray for him to become the leader IN ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR MARRIAGE, and trust God’s Word while you wait on God to change his heart
I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait,
And in His word do I hope. —Psalm 130:5
You should make carefully worded, Christ-centered appeals to your husband, offering alternatives and advantages to your staying home.
But Daniel said to the overseer whom the commander of the officials had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, “Please test your servants for ten days, and let us be given some vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then let our appearance be observed in your presence and the appearance of the youths who are eating the king’s choice food; and deal with your servants according to what you see.” —Daniel 1:11-13
Otherwise, don’t bring it up (see 1 Peter 3:1 above).
If you hang in there and love the Lord by making Him first in all things, God MAY change your husband during this life. But even if He doesn’t change him, you will be tremendously rewarded beyond your comprehension on Judgment Day. In other words, it’s worth it in the long run, to do what’s right in the short run.
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