God says it’s good to get advice from those you respect.
Planning is big in the Bible. From the business plan laid out in detail in 1 Chronicles 28:10-21 to the proverbial encouragement to commit your plans to the Lord for His help (Proverbs 16:3, 16:9, 19:21), God wants us to plan ahead. And one of the best ways to be smart in our planning is to get good advice:
Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed. —Proverbs 15:22
Once you have a plan, commit it to the Lord:
Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established. —Proverbs 16:3
Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand. —Proverbs 19:21
The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. —Proverbs 16:9
I recently moved and found myself in great debt and financial hardship. I acquired a second job to increase my income but still fall short each month. I decided I could manage my bills if I had a roommate to lower expenses.
I have looked for two months for a Christian woman roommate, but nothing worked out. My landlord referred me to a young man in my building with similar struggles, and he is moving into my spare bedroom and we are splitting the rent.
He is not a Christian but has agreed to live by my moral codes of the home—no sex, drugs, etc. My Christian girlfriend has ended our friendship because of his moving in with me. She said that God would not provide financial help if I’m not in accordance with His word.
Is what I’m doing wrong in God’s eyes? Was my girlfriend scripturally correct in ending our friendship and refusing fellowship?
Good grief! You couldn’t trust a Christian man in that situation, much less a non-Christian man . . . regardless of what he might say. Let’s start with potentially who this new roommate could be.
. . . it is a safeguard for you (to) beware of the dogs (pagan men), beware of the evil workers (pagan men with jobs). —Philippians 3:1-2
(men) . . . holding to a form of godliness . . . avoid such men as these. (They) . . . enter into households and captivate . . . led on by various impulses. —2 Timothy 3:5-6
But more importantly, there are several biblical admonitions about Christians doing things differently from the world:
. . . Come out from their midst and be separate —2 Corinthians 6:17
. . . what fellowship has light with darkness? —2 Corinthians 6:14
Then there is, of course, your reputation:
A good name is to be more desired than great wealth. —Proverbs 22:1
Any way you slice this, even if your heart is right, it just plain looks bad. And God warns against obviously looking bad:
. . . do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. —3 John 11
abstain from every form (appearance) of evil. —1 Thessalonians 5:22
. . . do not use your freedom as a covering for evil. —1 Peter 2:16
As far as your girlfriend is concerned, her knee-jerk reaction is, although unscriptural, somewhat understandable.
A friend loves at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity. —Proverbs 17:17
A man of too many friends comes to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. —Proverbs 18:24
If she loves you in Christian love, she’ll apologize, pray with you and help you look for a better solution. You could then ask her to help you analyze your overall spiritual condition and look for areas needing spiritual growth.
You also might consider lowering your overhead by scaling down things like extra bedrooms and/or car expenses. And there’s nothing wrong with waiting, by faith, for His timing for a roommate.
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Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission.
Answers to questions in GML are intended to be supplementary and in the spirit of Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, and 26:26, which calls for believers to seek counsel from more than one person. Therefore, it is not recommended that any decision be based solely on GML’s answer, but rather it be considered one of several counselors when determining a course of action.Compass International, Inc. www.compass.org