God DOESN’T help those who help themselves.
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to help yourself before God will help you. That’s not in the Bible. Rather, the Bible says that God helps those whose hearts are completely His.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped —Psalm 28:7
Even more interesting is how you make your heart trust God . . . you don’t. God does it for those who ask:
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. —Psalm 51:10
Regarding birth control, I am considering going back on birth control pills. I have extremely painful and heavy periods, and my doctor has recommended birth control pills to alleviate this problem. In addition, it may be a good idea because my husband and I are having problems in our marriage. He is addicted to pornography and calls women on porno web sites. He is also addicted to marijuana and, sadly, he is not saved and refuses to go to counseling for any of these issues. He has also indicated on many occasions that he doesn’t want children for different reasons at different times.
I am finding many difficult stumbling blocks in our marriage, and I have serious concerns about ending up a single mother or bringing a child into an environment that is not positive, loving, and spiritually nurturing. Any thoughts?
Bummer. You need a lot of input on this one. We are trusting we are just one of many resources:
Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory. —Proverbs 11:14
No question your situation presents tough challenges. As we stated in past GML responses, Christians are given a great deal of liberty and personal preference in this scripturally difficult area, and your own health plus the danger of your husband’s illegal drug use are cause for concern. However, one of the foundational principles that we try to follow in all GML answers is an unwavering trust in God’s unchanging Word (Malachi 3:6), REGARDLESS of the circumstances.
For I, the LORD, do not change; therefore you, O sons of Jacob, are not consumed. —Malachi 3:6
In this case, God didn’t say that children would be a blessing except when you have a bad marriage.
We aren’t saying you SHOULD have children. We simply believe that, based on Scripture, that decision falls into the realm of God’s sovereignty—not ours, not yours. The problem, in many cases, with birth control is that we shut God out of the process. The giving of life should be His prerogative, not ours. It takes a big view of God, especially in circumstances like yours, but if you prayerfully commit this situation to Him, we believe He will not give you a child that is not His gift, regardless of the circumstances.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. —Romans 8:28
NOTE: We received a great deal of input regarding recent GMLs dealing with Christians and psychology, depression, drugs, etc. Lots of tough stuff out there! Therefore, for those who may have missed this before, we will again extend our offer for Compass’ recent DVD Drugs and Depression in the Last Days.
You can download and watch this DVD for free from the Compass Digital Store by clicking on the title below—no credit/debit card needed.
Drugs and Depression in the Last Days – Paul Van Noy
Enter GML as the coupon code and the DVD will be free.
Or you can order this DVD to be mailed to you also by clicking the title above and choosing that option or by calling 800-977-2177.
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Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission.
Answers to questions in GML are intended to be supplementary and in the spirit of Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, and 26:26, which calls for believers to seek counsel from more than one person. Therefore, it is not recommended that any decision be based solely on GML’s answer, but rather it be considered one of several counselors when determining a course of action.Compass International, Inc. www.compass.org